Its been awhile since I linked up, so here I am. Today I am going to pour my heart out about my relationship. My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. Towards the end of last year one of his friends slipped up and told me about how my husband cheated on me twice. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. My kids "real" father and me broke up over the fact he cheated on me for 8 months. The fact that I even put my trust and love into another man was a miracle by itself. Only to have it shattered into a million pieces. Not to mention I found out 3 months after I had my heart attack, so he cheated on me during those 3 months I was struggling to deal with my illness and my limitations I had to adhere to. It was a rough time for me and it still is. Though I hide it well most times, I still don't trust him fully, and I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yes I did forgive, but I can't forget. People are not perfect and they mess up. Other than that cheating issue, he is so good to me. He would give me the world if I asked. He works, takes care of me, and loves me beyond reason. He loves me when some days I don't love myself. When I am mad at the world, because of my psychical limitations and take it out on everyone around me, he still is there trying to support me. He loves my kids like his own and they love him back. I just don't understand how someone can love you and then tear your heart apart. Especially knowing that my ex did the same thing to me. I am still hurt and resentful. There are some days when it is too much and I just want to walk away, but I stay because I love him. This is my second marriage and I really want this to work. It is so easy to tell someone just leave him, but it is not that simple. Least for me its not. When I love, I put everything into it. I just don't know what to do. I so want to trust him again fully, but I just can't. I can't open myself up to that hurt or pain again.06 March, 2013
When He Cheats- PYHO
Its been awhile since I linked up, so here I am. Today I am going to pour my heart out about my relationship. My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. Towards the end of last year one of his friends slipped up and told me about how my husband cheated on me twice. To say I was heartbroken was an understatement. My kids "real" father and me broke up over the fact he cheated on me for 8 months. The fact that I even put my trust and love into another man was a miracle by itself. Only to have it shattered into a million pieces. Not to mention I found out 3 months after I had my heart attack, so he cheated on me during those 3 months I was struggling to deal with my illness and my limitations I had to adhere to. It was a rough time for me and it still is. Though I hide it well most times, I still don't trust him fully, and I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Yes I did forgive, but I can't forget. People are not perfect and they mess up. Other than that cheating issue, he is so good to me. He would give me the world if I asked. He works, takes care of me, and loves me beyond reason. He loves me when some days I don't love myself. When I am mad at the world, because of my psychical limitations and take it out on everyone around me, he still is there trying to support me. He loves my kids like his own and they love him back. I just don't understand how someone can love you and then tear your heart apart. Especially knowing that my ex did the same thing to me. I am still hurt and resentful. There are some days when it is too much and I just want to walk away, but I stay because I love him. This is my second marriage and I really want this to work. It is so easy to tell someone just leave him, but it is not that simple. Least for me its not. When I love, I put everything into it. I just don't know what to do. I so want to trust him again fully, but I just can't. I can't open myself up to that hurt or pain again.