Why do we let our past haunt us? Why can't we just let go of things? We all make mistakes, we are only human. Yet time and time again our past is always in the shadows behind us like a hungry demon, just waiting to pounce on any joy we experience in life. It's in the air we breathe, the roads we walk, and in our voices when we speak.
Little background I am 34 years old, my sister is 31, and my brother is 22. We are all grown with kids of our own. Was our childhood all sunshine and glitter? Umm no it wasn't. However loads of kids had it worst. I got over my childhood a long time ago. It really irks me that my sister and brother still use it as an excuse to either make bad decisions or make our mother feel bad. I want to shake the hell out of them and scream, "Let it go already!". How long does a person have to keep paying for the same mistakes over and over again? She knows I love her to death and that I have let the past be the past, but I think on some level she still is holding on to the guilty feelings. I have made lots of mistakes. Major ones! I am not perfect. However I am not going to keep paying for it. I refuse to let anyone make me feel terrible for years over something I have apologized for repeatedly.
So my question is when is it enough? Why do we as humans, always pretend to accept someone's apology, only to throw it back in their face when something happens? Why do we feel the need to burden ourselves with things that we cannot change?
I learned a long time ago to just let it go. Forgive myself for being human and if the other person can't then move on. I am not going to stress myself out about a situation I can't change or take back. Life is so precious people. It's short and can be over with before you blink. When I had my heart attack that's all I thought about. The things I never apologized for, the things I never got to say, the anger I had built up in me for all the wrongs I had done to me. I had to let to all go. I apologized for the things I should have, I let the people I love know everyday how I feel, and the anger I threw away. Why was I walking around mad at people that didn't give a damn if I was angry? It was eating me up, not them!
So if your reading this take it from someone that has almost left this world. Don't let your past follow you around. Let them demons go! Remember to tell the people you love how you feel, apologize when it is needed, and laugh often!
