No I Don't Mind.....Really

Yeah that is one of my catch phrases, along with, "I am fine...really". The truth is far from that and actually I do flipping mind. So dh gets home tonight and has to run out to the store. So snuggling up to him tonight I casually throw out there that I would like to make love tonight. So its a go....least I thought. Off he goes to the store and gets back all in a hurry. He informs me his friend "S" is coming over to bullshit and play Modern Warfare, or whatever the game is called. I don't say a word and just take the bags from him, head for the kitchen. "Hey its okay right?" he calls after me. I swallow my anger, take a deep breath, "Sure...I don't mind."

No I don't mind that we have plans to make love later and since you wake up about 4:40 am to get ready for work, later is really like 9:00 or 10:00. No I don't mind that I really don't consider "S" a real friend. I didn't really mind he dropped his cat off to us, claiming it was for just a little while, which turned out to be 3 months. I didn't mind that when his cat starting attacking mine, I called him repeatedly to pick his cat up, and he never answered my calls. Oh I really didn't mind the fact he stopped funding his animal for 3 weeks and I had to reduce my cat food to feed his. The best part of all that was when he finally popped up he claimed he lost my number, but yet he had yours. I really don't mind that for some strange reason he popping up randomly the last few weeks, when hes basically been ignoring us for over a month now. Yes baby I am fine...I don't mind that we haven't made love in over a week. I am fine really....

Truth is NO I AM NOT FINE. I REALLY DO FUCKING MIND!! I don't like your pretend friend. I don't like how he treated his animal and how he didn't give a damn about MY furbabe. I am pissed that you shoved my needs aside to play whatever crap game with a dumb ass, on that PS3. I am even more pissed that after he left, you fell asleep like its whatever. I DO MIND that we haven't made love in a WHOLE DAMN week. I am feeling neglected and you what it SUCKS. So hell no I am not OKAY and I am not FINE....

But I will never tell you that. I will keep pretending I am awesome and my world is filled with butterflies and rainbows. Because that is what you want to believe. Who am I to destroy the illusion....