Depression Hurts

I have been battling depression for as long as I can remember.  When I was younger I just ignored the warning signs and tried to fix it myself. It wasn't until a few years ago I discovered that I couldn't cure it by myself and I needed help. There are time spans when I can go without the meds and function just fine, but sooner or later it comes back, and when it does its hardcore. I usually keep things bottled up until I reach that point and I explode epically. So I am learning to use my words and let people know how I am feeling. Its hard when the person just isn't hearing you. When you look at me you would never guess how messed up I am inside. The tears I hid, the anxiety I have, or sometimes uncontrollable rages. That's because I have learned to hide behind a mask of smiles and laughs. So remember that just because someone looks healthy on the outside does not mean they are well on the inside. Some people just don't understand the struggles of depression. They tell you, "cheer up"  "it could be worse" or "that's just an excuse".  I do not chose to feel this way. I cant help feeling this way. I don't know anyone that is happy to be depressed and loves feeling just crappy all the time. I do not want your pity, I want you to just understand right now I am out of sorts and need your shoulder to cry on. Just because I have to return to taking my meds does not mean you caused it. It is not your fault. Its just something within me that needs to be worked out and helped. If you know someone battling with depression, the best thing I can say is just be there. Listen to them, let them know they are loved and cared about, just be a real friend. In depression you feel so alone, like your the only person in the world. Give them a hug, send them a card, just be there for them. That means alot to us. To simply have a support system and someone to actually hear us.